When Lizards Attack

Yeah, not so much.

There are many things to dread about blistering heat. One, the blistering heat. Two, leather seats in a car that’s been sitting for a long time in the blistering heat. Three, electric bills. Four, pit stains. Five, lizards who cannot stand the blistering heat and retreat to the cool comforts of your home. Now, I guess one would think that reptiles would enjoy desert-like conditions, but I did a little research, and it turns out that they need a cool spot for retreat. Well, it seems as though all the lizards in our neighborhood have chosen our home as their retreat from the blistering Texas heat.

My mom first told me about their problem while I was in Ireland. Apparently, they were catching quite a few every day. Melissa, my sister, was completely disgusted by this, and even threw in the towel one night home alone, and spent the night at a friend’s house. Before I arrived from Ireland, my parents attempted to have the lizards taken care of, but a few have still shown up.

My first sighting was my second day here. My mom and I were going out to the pool to relax and get some sun. She opened the door and as she stepped out, a sly little lizard darted in the house. My girly instincts kicked in and I started yelling, but my mother had already shut the door, and didn’t hear me. I took matters into my own hands. I mean, it’s just a little lizard, about as large as the pinkie finger of a dwarf. I ran for a plastic cup, hoping to catch the tiny reptile, but damn those things are fast! It escaped me under the shelter of a cabinet, and unfortunately that is where the chase ended. I shrugged my shoulders, and prayed that it wouldn’t end up nestled in bed with me later that evening.

The reptile hunters, hard at work.

My next sighting was upstairs in the family room. I didn’t have a cup handy to catch it, so I announced my discovery to my family downstairs. In the matter of 2 seconds, my dad and Melissa were racing up the stairs at full speed, cups in hand. The look in their eye indicated that this reptile was going down. Startled by the vibrating commotion, the lizard darted under a sofa chair, only to be found a minute later when my sister picked the chair up, and practically threw it aside. They did their best not to kill the little guy, but these little lizards are very fragile, and he suffered damages. Neither my father nor my sister seemed upset about this, as she jumped up and down, shouting victory, followed by a fist pump with my dad.

So, to all little lizards out there, let this be a warning to you. Justice will be swift in our household. Seek refuge elsewhere!

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Categories: Musings | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “When Lizards Attack

  1. "aunt" Gina

    Murderers! Poor lizards won’t carry you off!

  2. dad

    Harmless salimanders, but they gotta die!

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