I would never use the term “codependent” to describe myself. In fact, I feel like I’m quite the independent gal. For one, Matt and I survived a long distance relationship for nearly a year. And it wasn’t just any ole’ long distance relationship either; I think when you put an entire ocean in the middle, it’s a whole new ball game. Sure, it was difficult, but when I wasn’t missing Matt, I was having a fantastic time living in Dallas. Secondly, I adored the time I lived by myself. I absolutely loved my spacious apartment and knowing it was all mine. I loved coming and going as I pleased, and each time I walked through the door, I knew exactly what would meet me on the other side. I exercised when I wanted to and met friends for drinks on a whim, but I always had that space to be alone. Finally, independence means making your own decisions and setting your own expectations. When I lived in Ireland with Matt, I needed this aspect of independence. I set aside nights with my girlfriends, time to workout alone, girly movie nights, and I joined the amazing AWCD, where my activities would be my own.
Being an independent gal can be hard when you not only live in the same house as your significant other, but you work in the same office, too. Matt and I by no means work together, but he is just down the hall. Well, on Monday he went out of town for work, leaving me alone in the house for the very first time. Truth be told, there was an intitial fear about being alone in the house in another country. For one, it makes a lot of noise at night, and with the wind whipping the way it has, the house noises were at an all-time creepy. It can also be unnerving with all of the floor to ceiling glass windows. Though the curtains were drawn, it didn’t exactly calm my anxiety. However, once I was able to get over these nerves, I had a delightfully cliché few days.
Cliché, you ask? This independent gal watched chick flicks, had take-out for dinner, and worked out on the XBox Kinect. As for the chick flicks, I’ve been listening to the Legally Blonde, The Musical soundtrack for a few days now (don’t judge me), so I was in the mood to watch the original. As I was watching it, I suddenly had a desire to see Clueless, too! I haven’t seen either in forever and boy was I in chick flick heaven. As for working out on the Kinect – since Matt got it for us for our anniversary/Valentine’s Day, it’s gotten a lot of use…for Call of Duty. So, with Matt out of town, I took it back and used the workout dvd – which, by the way, is awesome.
While it’s always an adjustment to be on your own again, it can certainly be peaceful and necessary. Matt goes out of town again soon, but next time for longer. I think a little visit with my girlfriends in Dublin will be in order, as well as chick flick evenings at my home. And maybe I can coerce some other gals to join me the next time around!